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Bad dates in the age of Instagram

This week’s post is a story that has been inspired by none other than @thebrightongirl’s Tinder Diaries. Now whilst they do say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery I don’t want to continue without giving credit where credit’s due. So here you can check out some of her amusing tales:https://brightongirlproblems.co.uk/category/love-sex-relationships/

My story has a slight twist in that it wasn’t a disastrousTinderdate, but believe me it was disastrous none than less. My tale instead involves an Instagram ‘fling’. To be honest even calling it that made me shudder and is probably an overstatement but we’ll go with it for now. As I’m sure many of you will know the age of social media brought about big changes to the dating world. One sad fact of this was that Instagram dm’s were now a legitimate way to meet strangers and strike up a relation. It was some time in 2018 when this particular stranger slid into my dm’s and began what turned out to be a lead balloon. Now strictly speaking we weren’t exactly strangers as we had some mutual friends but had personally never met each other. This detail is important for later. 

We’ll call our stranger Owen. Now admittedly from early on I knew there were some red flags with Owen. One being, he wasconstantlywith his friends. Now before you brand me unfair, hear me out. Throughout the whole time of speaking to Owen there was never a time where he was alone. He and his friends practically lived in each other’s pockets except that they didn’t actually live together. After a week or so of Instagram dm’s, Owen asked if I wanted to have a phone call or FaceTime. At first I was hesitant as it was still early days and I was trying to work out if I even wanted to meet for a date, but in my boredom I agreed, reasoning what was the worst that could happen. BIG mistake. As soon as I gave Owen my number he began bombarding me with phone calls and FaceTime calls at all hours of the day. On the occasions that I did answer his friends would always be in the background and on one occasion I even ended up having a conversation with one of his friends whilst Owen had left his phone and gone upstairs… mortifying! Looking back, the whole thing was so cringe and I don’t know why I even let it get as far as a date but you live and learn right? 

The next flag to appear was that Owen was quite the fabricator. Through our awkward FaceTime’s and small talk I began to catch him out on more than a few lies. The strange thing about it was that the lies seemed almost pointless? Like they were meaningless lies and I couldn’t see the point in him telling them. For example, in our early days of dm’ing he’d mentioned he’d recently started a new job 3 months ago. Then one evening on FaceTime he casually referred to the same job gloating he’d worked there for almost a year. I called him on the lie and at first he denied it but I had already let too many other little fibs of his go to ignore this one. So I pulled the screenshot of him claiming he’d been there 3 months and his reaction was rather odd. After I sent him the screenshot, he kind of stuttered and said “Oh… I don’t really know why I lied about that…sorry!” What?! It was these kind of unnecessary lies that I found worse than outlandish and obvious lies. 

For some ludicrous reason despite all of the red flags, I agreed to go for a drink with Owen. The evening was off to a bumpy start as we had arranged to meet at Spoons at 8. Admittedly, Spoons wasn’t the most exciting place for a first meet but as a student I couldn’t really criticise as I wasn’t flushed for cash myself.  At 8 o’clock I arrived outside Spoons with no sign of Owen. Around 10 minutes later Owen rang asking where I was saying he too was outside. I glanced around and couldn’t see him anywhere. It soon became apparent we had both gone to the wrong Spoons. It appeared we had both got confused as we lived in different towns both with their own Spoons and had assumed the other would come to us. We laughed it off and Owen said he would drive to my spoons, probably about the only score I can give him. 

So half an hour later Owen arrived at my Spoons and by this point my hopes for the date had diminished. It wasn’t off to the best start and was testing my already low patience for a guy I was half-interested in. Upon arriving Owen gave me a hug and greeted me with the strongest Welsh accent I’ve ever heard. (Bear in mind I’m a huge Gavin and Stacey fan!) But this is besides the point. Perhaps I should have mentioned earlier that I am English and Owen was too… or so I thought! Through all of our brief phone calls and FaceTimes he had always had an English accent. So it took me by surprise when he arrived with a strong Welsh accent. At first I thought it was just a little joke he was playing at first to try and break the ice. But as the date progressed it became clear the Welsh accent was here to stay! Now don’t get me wrong I have nothing against different accents but why the change of accent? It struck me as odd. I wanted to ask Owen about it but thought better of it. How do you ask someone “I thought you were English why are you talking in a Welsh accent?” 

Besides the accent the date itself was terrible. So awkward I wanted to make an excuse to leave but I hadn’t even been there for half an hour and felt rude. After an hour of small talk and awkward silences the night was finally over and he dropped me home. To make matters worse, (if that was even possible), as I hugged him goodbye I accidentally hit him in the face with my purse which was gripped in my hand. After an awkward sorry and dry laugh, needless to say, I never saw him again! 

Thanks for reading!

Cappuccino Keeks x

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